I'm not big on resolutions anyway, so it really boils down to one resolution this year. I'm not going to exercise more or eat better or save money for my kid's education. My resolution is to do everything I can to piss off Democrats even if I have to cut off my own nose. I'll take this environment down with me if I can get a bunch of whiny liberals telling me to recycle and use less water in the desert. I don't care if anyone has a job as long Democrats control the presidency and congress and we can blame it on them. I'll drive my dually pickup right over your little smart car while I'm texting on the highway.
What's the best way to upset a liberal? I've started a list:
1) Bumper stickers: From the simple NOBAMA to the "Piss off a liberal: Work hard and be happy", they're the best way to get your message across.
2) Let your dog poop in the common areas without picking it up or throw trash out your window in the car.
3) Talk about Sarah Palin. We know she's stupid too, but it's fun to act like she's our mascot.
4) Elect idiots: They're easier to manipulate and they don't try to make government do anything. On the flip side, they're more likely to be involved in scandal.
5) Try to sneak religion into schools and government. We're not that big on church anyway, but it causes more grief there than anywhere else.
6) Attack the gays. We don't really care what they do but tell one joke and you've soured the mood for weeks.
7) Use communism and Hitler together talking about liberals. We know it's contradictory but the message is there.
8) Bring your gun to work and wave it around when you're talking about what happened on Game of Thrones this week and then say, "this is the same gun they used at Columbine".
Obamageddon: No we can't!
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